This account was written by Alexandra, one of our bloggers and naming experts. Alex is now a mom of two – a newborn boy and a little girl – and wanted to share her c-section experiences to reassure other moms that there is no ‘right’ way to give birth…
As I was shaking and putting on my scrubs, I felt more vulnerable than I’ve ever felt in my life. Although I was so excited to meet our little boy and finally hold him in my arms after a very tough pregnancy, I felt even more fear than with my first C-section.
At that moment, all I wanted was to hug my little girl, our firstborn, who’s now four years old. I wanted to tell her I loved her and tell her (and myself) that everything would be okay. Because even though this was a planned procedure and one that’s done thousands of times every day, I couldn’t shake my intense anxiety. A C-section is major surgery, after all.
This was my second C-section experience, and I couldn’t shake the memories of my first birth. It had been seriously traumatic, with labor that dragged on for too long after my waters broke, leading to both my baby and me contracting sepsis and needing an emergency C-section to get my daughter out safely.
So, while this time was different—an elective C-section experience rather than an emergency—I couldn’t help but carry the weight of my first C-section. All I wanted was to welcome our little boy safely into the world and start our life as a healthy family of four. But would this time be better?
My First C-section Experience: A Battle with Uncertainty
My first birth was nothing like I had imagined. It ended in an emergency C-section – an experience that still lingers in my mind as one of the most terrifying of my life.
It was June 2020, right in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic. The world was already in chaos, and inside the hospital, staff shortages made everything even more unpredictable. My waters broke just one day after my due date, and I was scheduled for an induction the following day. But when I arrived, I was told I’d be induced soon – except “soon” never came. Instead, I appeared to go into labor naturally.
But nine exhausting hours later, I was only a few centimeters dilated. I felt terrible; I was vomiting, dizzy, and close to passing out. It was obvious to my husband that this wasn’t normal. After calling the doctor, we were told that my daughter’s heartbeat had slowed to a dangerously slow rate. I needed an emergency C-section straight away.
By that point, I was so weak that I couldn’t even process what was happening. I just knew I had to get my baby out safely. The procedure itself is still a blur—I was too sick to take it all in. I was just relieved that medical professionals were taking charge.
And then, when I finally heard her tiny cry, an even bigger sense of relief flooded through me. Despite the traumatic experiences of the night, she was here and seemed, despite the infection, to be doing well.
But the ordeal wasn’t over just yet. We’d both contracted sepsis so I was terrified of what would come following the birth. What should have been a joyful postpartum period turned into a week-long hospital stay filled with tests, uncertainty, and endless rounds of antibiotics. My husband—my daughter’s dad—wasn’t allowed to stay. Because of COVID rules, he had to leave shortly after the operation, and we didn’t see him for the entire week. I was alone, recovering from major surgery, looking after a newborn, and navigating the fear of what sepsis could mean for both of us.
It was the hardest week of my life. And while I was beyond grateful when we were finally discharged and reunited as a family, the trauma of that birth stayed with me. It was a shadow I carried with me into my second C-section experience, and one that made me question whether I was truly ready to go through it all again.
Preparing for My 2nd C-section Experience: Taking Back Control
Four years after my first traumatic birth, I found myself pregnant again. I was excited and grateful, but also conscious of the difficult decisions that lay ahead. This time, I wanted things to be different; I wanted control. Everyone wishes for a healthy, natural birth, but how could I possibly guarantee that things would go smoothly if I attempted it again? The truth was, I couldn’t. So I decided to have a planned C-section.
Unlike my first experience, where everything had spiraled way out of control, this time I felt seen, heard, and supported. I had an incredible consultant who genuinely listened to me. She took my past experience into account and reassured me at every step that this C-section – while still major surgery – was something she had performed countless times before. Her confidence and compassion gave me a sense of security that I had never felt during my first birth.
Of course, there were moments of doubt. I was technically considered low-risk and had the option to try for a vaginal birth. A part of me wondered if I should go for it, to experience labor without fear looming over me. But deep down, I knew that the uncertainty would be too much. The anxiety alone could have affected not only my pregnancy but also my labor. I wasn’t willing to take that risk – not for myself, and certainly not for my baby.
This time, I felt empowered. I was making a choice that prioritized both my physical health and my mental well-being. And while the nerves were still there in the days leading up to the surgery, I knew I was doing what was right for me. More than anything, I couldn’t wait to meet our son, knowing that I’d be walking into the operating theater as prepared as I could possibly be.
The Day of the Surgery: My Elective C-section Experience
The morning of my C-section, I felt pretty drained, and very anxious to meet our son! I hadn’t slept well the night before; I imagine that’s the case for most women about to go through an elective C-section experience – it’s the final hurdle after 9 months of sickness, tiredness and anticipation.
My husband and I woke really early, got our bags together, and dropped our little girl off with family. The next time I saw her, she’d officially be a big sister! That thought made me so happy, but it also made me emotional. I wanted everything to go smoothly so we could reunite as a family of four as soon as possible!
We arrived at the hospital by 7:30 a.m, not knowing exactly when the surgery would happen. Emergency C-sections would, of course, take priority, so there was no telling how long we’d be waiting. When we arrived, we were given a private room—something I hadn’t expected at all. It even had a TV! The midwife explained that there were three of us scheduled for elective C-sections that morning and that we’d be given an estimated time as soon as possible.
So, we waited. And to pass the time, we rediscovered our love of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares! It was honestly the best distraction I could have asked for. It took my mind off the impending major surgery. The whole morning was so surreal – one minute my husband and I were laughing at Ramsay’s fiery rants and, the next, we were told it was time to put on our scrubs…
The Operating Room: Facing My Fears
When the nurse told us it was time, my stomach dropped. As we walked down to theater, my body couldn’t do anything but shake, but there was no turning back now!
In the operating room, there was a mix of calm professionalism and bustling preparation. Surgeons and nurses were setting up equipment, discussing the procedure and making sure everything was ready.
I was asked to sit on the operating table while they prepped me, inserting needles into my hands. I can’t quite remember why they were needed—probably for fluids or medications—but I do remember how awful they made me feel! I have a serious needle phobia, and after hours without food, I was already feeling very weak. I had to stop eating the night before as instructed, but by the time my surgery was actually happening – 12:30 p.m. – I was lightheaded and nauseous. The combination of exhaustion, hunger, and anxiety made everything feel overwhelming.
I could feel the inevitable dizziness creeping in, so I told the anesthetist I needed to lie down. After a couple of failed attempts to get me sitting up again, they let me lie back down until my blood pressure stabilized.
Then came the moment I had dreaded most: the spinal anesthesia. I think I had built it up in my head as something terrifying, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as I had expected. In my first C-section, I had been so unwell that I barely remembered it, so this time, I was fully aware of everything. But the part I had feared the most turned out to be one of the easiest.
Meeting My Son: A Moment of Pure Joy
Once the spinal anesthesia was in, the medical team checked that it was working by spraying cold water on different parts of my body. I confirmed that I couldn’t feel anything on my lower stomach and the operation began.
I expected to feel the same intense tugging and pulling I had during my first C-section—the sensation I’d describe as someone washing dishes inside my belly! But this time, I felt much less discomfort. It was surreal knowing what was happening but not truly feeling it.
And then, before I even had time to process it, they told me—he was out! My son had arrived safely into the world.
The surgeon lifted him over the blue surgical drape, and there he was—tiny, perfect, and ours. I lifted myself up as much as I could. Through happy tears, I gave him the biggest kiss.
My husband was able to go with the nurses to cut the cord and watch as they weighed him. Meanwhile, I lay there overwhelmed with relief and happiness. The experience had been so different this time—calmer, more controlled, exactly what I had hoped for – apart from the dizziness at the beginning, of course.
When they brought him back to me, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, savoring that first cuddle. At that moment, I forgot about everything else: the fear, the nerves, the long wait. My son was here, safe and sound, and my heart was fuller than ever.
Recovery and Healing: Navigating the Challenges
While my elective C-section experience had been far more controlled than my first, the recovery was another story. One thing’s for sure is that it was more painful this time around. I hadn’t anticipated just how difficult those first few hours would be—the simplest movements felt impossible. Even shifting slightly in bed had me crying in pain. I couldn’t remember it being so bad the first time round, but then I had to remember that the first operation was 5 years prior to this one!
That being said, there was one massive positive difference this time: my baby and I weren’t battling sepsis. And that relief alone was enough to make the pain feel more manageable.
About six hours after the operation, a nurse gently encouraged me to try standing up. I knew I needed to, but I just couldn’t face it yet. The thought of moving felt unbearable. A couple of hours later, I finally gave it a go, but the pain was so intense—far worse than I had remembered from my first operation. But I also knew that each small step forward was bringing me closer to going home and starting life as a family of four!
I had regular pain relief, and after about 30 hours in the hospital, I was discharged. It felt amazing compared to the seven days I had spent in the hospital after my first birth. Walking out of those hospital doors with my son in my arms and my little girl by my side was incredible.
Of course, the healing process wasn’t easy. In the days that followed, I cried a lot. Not just from the pain, but from the frustration of feeling so dependent on my husband. I had always been someone who just got up and did things for myself, and suddenly, even the smallest tasks were a challenge. But my husband was incredible – he made those early days so much easier.
The key was clearly patience. I had to allow my body to heal at its own pace. And sure enough, after a few days, the pain began to subside. I could move around more freely, no longer hunched over awkwardly or wincing with every step.
Looking back at those first few weeks, I felt immense pride. We had done it. We were home, together, navigating the chaos of newborn life—exhausted, for sure, but above all, happy and healthy. And for that, I was endlessly grateful.
Advice for Other Mums Facing a C-section Recovery:
- Take your pain relief on time – even if you feel okay, stay ahead of the pain. I definitely didn’t do this and suffered as a result!
- Accept help – whether it’s from your partner, family, or friends, don’t try to do it all alone. Remember you’ve just had a major operation, and help is what you deserve.
- Be kind to yourself – healing takes time, and every small step forward is a huge win. You’ll soon be back to feeling yourself, but you have to be kind to yourself in order to get there.
- Move when you’re ready – but don’t rush it. Small movements help your recovery, but listen to your body. I wasn’t ready to move when the nurses initially suggested it, so made sure I communicated this.
- Focus on the bigger picture – the early days are tough, but they pass. What matters is that you and your baby are safe, happy, and loved.
Final Thoughts: Embracing My Birth Story
Looking back on my C-section experience, I realize how much it has shaped me—not just as a mom, but as a person. My first birth was traumatic, something I had to heal from both physically and emotionally. But my 2nd C-section experience gave me the chance to reclaim my birth story. It wasn’t without its challenges, but it was also filled with moments of strength, joy, and overwhelming love.
I used to believe that birth had to be natural or happen a certain way to be valid. But now I know that every birth story is unique, and every birth is a birth —whether it’s ‘natural’, induced, or a C-section. At the end of it all, all that matters is that both mother and baby come home safely.
To any other mothers facing a C-section, whether planned or unexpected: you are not alone. It’s okay to feel scared, to grieve the birth you wanted, or to really struggle with recovery. But you have to remember that your body is doing something amazing – bringing life into the world in the way that is safest for you and for your baby.
You’ve got this, mama.
